India's Daughter - A true reality

In all the usual hustle bustle of life, we forget the small things. Small things like Freedom, which is so critical to living life. Today, I've consciously made an effort to come back and blog about this because enough is enough! And I won't stop with just writing this blog, that's a promise I'm making today.

Maybe I'm currently writing in a lot of anger but really, why should I not be angry? I come from a country where we rage about our cultures and traditions but really, what do those really mean?

Is rape a part of our culture? Is giving women no safety or not letting women themselves being able to live the lives they project to live for themselves a part of our traditions?

One day, I will have kids and if it's a daughter, she shouldn't be fearful of living her life the way she wants to - study whatever she wants, travel wherever life takes her, date and marry any man her heart desires - And that's how I see the world. However, today, the suppression I see makes me fear what tomorrow will be like.

Many say, oh - this happens only in poor areas like slums and where people aren't educated, it's not everywhere, you shouldn't worry. Really?

Shouldn't something like basic education be available for every person?

I ask these questions today because I fail to understand this world. A world we are all a part of.

Because nothing, absolutely nothing can justify the action of the rapists of Jyoti Singh in the New Delhi Bus rape case, 2012. The brutality & guts to do what the men involved did has shaken me after watching the documentary, 'India's Daughter'!

And what surprises me most is that there was no shame or fear whatsoever in the eyes of those convicted. I mean, are you even human?!!! Where on earth have you come from saying you were trying  to teach someone a lesson? And by the way, who are you to teach anyone a lesson? Did the courts give you some supreme authority or are you claiming it was God who came in your dreams to tell you that? And above all, lesson on what, how to not have any freedom? Come on..

A message to the governments of India -
Modi Government - Please focus on the right things. Banning a documentary, if that could change the future that beholds us, then great but here you go - reality check, damn - that's not going to happen! The comments made by these men knowing that the world will see this video showcase a concern that keeps India trailing and that should worry you, not why the BBC aired this documentary that shows the truth..
Congress - The fact that you had aggressive attempts to curtail a very peaceful protest back in the day - you should be ashamed. You have lost my vote and confidence forever.

And let me please clarify, I am not associated with any political party or want to name/shame anyone, I am an Indian who wants to live freely in his country and wishes the same for his family and friends and don't want to be scared to go out with women or be scared for women in my family who go out with men, it's simple.

Anyway, coming back to the criminals who were convicted in the case - Now when you're sentenced to the highest penalty, you have the audacity to say this will not improve anything because more women will get killed after being raped? Come on India, come together - as people of this country, come in your senses, is this what we build in the minds of our kids and children? We need to make this right and now really is the time.. There is a problem about more men than women and it won't go away over night - so to start from what we do now and keep remembering, it all started from you were born. It's women who give us all birth, take care of us in their womb, they are a reason for life, so let's give it that respect..

Everything starts from an attitude that we've built in ourselves, saying it's okay.. Let's now say #itsnotokay Let's stand up together against such crime and moreover let's think of how to avoid such crime to happen.

So here is my word, I will work towards a better, more educated and balanced India for tomorrow in my small ways everyday, you should too! And it all starts with a thought. So give it a thought.

#IndiasDaughter - Thank you for igniting this fire in us, this is not over.

Life, the way it is....

Today as I come back to writing on this blog, I have this thought that resonates in my head, 'life can be all you want it to be or probably nothing if you don't hope..'

The idea of hope always reminds me of a poem that someone special had written for me years ago. But yes, you need to have hope.

There is this philosophy (amongst many others) that I've been shouting out recently, If you think something bad is going to happen, it will but if you want something good to happen - start with good thoughts. Very easily said but difficult in times of hardships.

But what are hardships? Just thoughts.. And things that we give too much importance.. So either go out and fix them properly or just let go. This doesn't mean for many of you who might think that I'm saying life is black or white - no, I'm not saying that. But you need to work towards things, you need to believe in yourself and hope that the thing you are thinking will happen and it will.. It might be grey though but so what, if it makes you happy, it's more than enough! Kindle that hope..

You might find the steps are very difficult to get there and understandably so; there is quite a bit at stake but after every dark tunnel, there is sunshine! And here goes to that hope to see sunshine!

Keep hoping and looking for your sunshine!

Life and what we want.. Happiness?

So, for some reason I'm very philosophical with my thoughts this morning. 

Insomnia and anxiety seems to have had it's fair share of my last few nights but the writing isn't because of that. It's because there is an outflow of emotions.

The below said are just my thoughts and you are free to object / disregard it completely / question my logic/ not bother at all.

I recently read this blogpost which seems to have gone around massively, thanks to Facebook which then got picked up by a lot of media publishers - it's called 'Marriage isn't for you'. I guess more than anything, the writer should be given a pat on his back for the title he used. I can assure you that the impact this title had - no other would for this piece. And that's not because it's a genius idea (with all due respect to the writer), but it's just our mentality and what is appealing / eye catching and moreover associative to our thinking in today's time that possibly made people share and talk about it to this crazy extent. Congratulations to the blogger, Seth Adam Smith, you made people think.

A very well written post and it actually defines how our generation thinks. We have all had this question at some point or the other, 'what's in it for me?' - Well, NOTHING - how about that?! 

Generations before ours (long time go I guess) used to believe in - Till the time someone has the power to make you smile and takes the effort to do that, don't ever let that person go. Because momentarily you might not realize the value (possibly sometimes you never would) but if you do after you've lost someone, is there a way back? Maybe not. People do deserve a 2nd chance in most cases but in love? If you don't love someone, will you ever love them? I don't know what's the right answer to this and probably will never do but love builds love so while I can't  say it will be so all the time, if you really go for something with complete honesty, the least it will do is make the other person ponder over you.

However, how important is the love you get from them to you? (Brings back the thought we usually have of 'what's in it for me?') I used to always hear from older colleagues back in the day - if you know someone who loves you more than you love them - that's either the best case or the worst. There's no midway. It's a lot about personalities.. Some are givers and will always be and some are takers and will always be.. 

We all go through phases, where we feel we have met the ideal person and want to 'settle down' in life but what really do we mean by settling down? And is there an age for settling down? In India they say - once you have a good job, probably a house and  a car - it's time to get married and settle down. Many follow it and are happy, many aren't.. 

What amuses me most is that how our definition of being happy changes from time to time. Guess it's normal but how often do we think about it? How often do we give ourselves and people around us a chance to be happy or make them happy?

Going back to marriage - and the post about 'Marriage isn't for you', one thing that it beautifully showcases is how our parents/ grandparents saw marriage and how we see it at first thought. And yes, I'm not one of those who doesn't agree that we have evolved and will continue to evolve as people and want more from life and ourselves, but in this case - I would rather go back to traditional days. Happiness is with people and sometimes even in sacrifices. Have we forgotten how to sacrifice? Maybe not, it sits inside us and the fact that this post became so popular - just shows that. We don't want to / don't supposedly have the time to think about it (while we are running behind money/success/ good career or whatever else) but when something comes to our notice, it wakes us up, it wakes our subconscious mind. 

So go out there and make someone, that special someone happy. Listen to them, talk to them, create a happy family.

Thanks for making me think Seth Adam Smith. 

Its all about 'attitude'

So what is attitude firstly?

Here's how Oxford dictionary defines Attitude;

Definition of attitude

noun

• 1a settled way of thinking or feeling about something:he was questioned on his attitude to South Africabeing competitive is an attitude of mind
•  a position of the body indicating a particular mental state:the boy was standing in an attitude of despair
•  Ballet a position in which one leg is lifted behind with the knee bent at right angles and turned out, and the corresponding arm is raised above the head, the other extended to the side.

• 2 [mass noun] informal, chiefly North American truculent or uncooperative behaviour:I asked the waiter for a clean fork and all I got was attitude
•  individuality and self-confidence:she snapped her fingers with attitude

• 3the orientation of an aircraft or spacecraft, relative to the direction of travel.

Positive or negative? To me, It's all based on what you take it as and what you think.. If something / someone makes you insecure or 'not so affirmative' then you will question things, object to change, that's human. And if someone /something builds your confidence, makes you feel good, you will be open to doing more, you'll feel free, that's what life is.. It's all based on our perceptions and evaluation of situations (which might not always be correct, but for that moment it generally is).

In every walk of life, one needs to find a way to build the trust and take baby steps in situations and opportunities that matters enough to you. And in the meantime things go wrong, they were always meant to go wrong - you can't prevent it. Do your best but don't cry about it, be happy it happened, happened now! Learn and live.. (Getting philosophical again, sorry.. :))

What's interesting is that we get different reactions to the same situation based on how it's said. Yes, it's not  rocket science but something to think about - Our behaviour actually influences our lives to such a level that we go up or down in our every day mood:

Which brings me to my next point, is it always just in our mind? And if it is, can't we all really do what we want to, fight the bad situations, come out strong and enjoy the good moments, be happy!

Leaving it at that...

Goodbye for now!

Paras

Is BBM the new MSN? Are we missing anything?

As we gear into the ever advancing world of 'social media' and constantly developing technology, a question that comes to mind, is BBM the new MSN?

If you remember a decade back, you would come home and then log onto MSN or Yahoo Messenger to chat with a few friends in the evening and have a good laugh at something you shared with them from your day or something they told you from theirs or maybe went to chatroom (which I always found fishy) and now you've got BBM, Whatsapp and groups or multi-person chats on them. Today, as soon as something happens, there's either a message or broadcast out there which is good in more ways than one, but are we constantly bombarded with news now? Does that change our perception or more importantly reaction to news we hear? Being constantly in touch or reachable in today's day and age is seen purely as an advantage, but as a person, have we changed more than we thought? Do we reflect as much on our days and learn as much from experiences? May be we do, may be we don't..

As I write this post, there's a constant battle going on in my head, one view being, 'your grandfather didn't have as much to do and as many people to stay connected with as you. You are way more social and connected' (not that they were antisocial or didn't have many friends but on a serious note, may be because of how they lived life back then)  and the other being ' are you really connected to as many people and do you really care about every news you hear?' Something to ponder upon. I believe it depends from person to person and news to news. One thing's for sure, we've moved fast, very fast.

Bringing Change..

About 2 years back from now a friend of mine, Nancy Beso mentioned to me about an inaugural summit for Young leaders on similar lines as the Davos World Economic Forum was being held in London. I wondered what this platform could actually do while it was connecting people from different parts of the world - other than a networking opportunity, what more could happen?

Little did I know what this was but because I was hearing good things from the people who attended the inaugural summit in London and said I should definitely be a part of this, I applied to be a delegate at the 2nd Summit which was in Zurich in September 2011.

Slowly I started reading on things a bit and found some pretty interesting and inspiring work that a lot of delegates and Ambassadors were doing in their own countries. I felt like connecting with them at that point and the rest is actually history...

Time to be at the One Young World Summit in Zurich came and the long conversations with fellow delegates kept flowing. I really met some of the most wonderful people there that I've met till date. And now I can say, some great friends for life too! :)

There were some inspiring and touching moments like Archbishop Desmond Tutu pointing at us and saying, 'you, you, you - you will make change, I know it. God is seeing each one of you, go out there and make a difference'; a fellow delegate from Uganda - I can't ever forget his name, Innocent, sharing his own struggle and many others. It will be difficult to express those certain moments that trickled a thought in me to say, leave everything and just work on the cause that you really believe in. Time and over again people kept surprising me with the amount of good these people were doing in this world..


Late last year in Oslo, Norway where I went with a team of young and motivated individuals for Global Dignity Day, each and every person there I believe cared about Dignity in people's lives, it was such an amazing spirit in the school to celebrate Global Dignity Day. The founders of this great initiative - Crowne Prince Norway, John Hope Bryant and Pekka Himanen were hearing dignity stories of many young students. To hear them all, was an absolute pleasure - The innocence, genuineness and sheer simplicity was something to take back. :)
Not to forget, we were later called for a Royal Dinner with the founders as well as the Crowne Princes of Norway who were all so humble and down to earth to welcome a group of youngsters from Norway and around the world to share a meal and an evening of happiness. Thank you One Young World for introducing us to such great people.


A question that always sits in my head now: Are we all doing our little bit at least? Are we going to be able to answer God one day and say 'Yes, I was a responsible individual and did good while I lived!' With this thought, I started dedicating more time to projects that brought happiness and smiles to people. Be it via Project Chirag, a revolutionary project that transforms the lives of rural India by providing them light with Solar electricity or be it a small concept project with a big delivery like Ahaan, A ray of hope. It is actually a ray of hope for all of us, we need to make our little contributions and let's accept it, we all have those few minutes to spare for doing good.

Here's a call to all of you out there who may read this, may be you can't give your life to change the world, may be you can't give years, but you can definitely gives a few minutes, it will help, just spread happiness in your own small way and be responsible with your actions, the world around you will definitely start becoming a better place to live in!

Signing off!

Paras
A hopeful change maker 

India's fight against corruption!

So what is all this about now? How does it make a difference to me?

These are questions that might have cropped up in many minds in India in the last few weeks and why not? We are made to think like that to a large extent.. We are made to move on..

The scale of corruption in India has been multiplying with various scams over decades including the 2G Spectrum Scam, Telgi Scam, Commonwealth Games Scam, Satyam Scam, The Hawala Scandal, The IPL Scam and many others.. How do we draw a line and make these severely punishable? We are generally not even able to get to the core of the scam always, forget anything else! The intrusions from people with political influences or backgrounds always delay proceedings and mostly stall them!

This fight against corruption has been going on for over 42 years and we ought to get answers. Mr. Anna Hazare, who at this point of represents and is the epitome of every common man in the country has been fasting for the past 11 days to get the government in India to consider the Jan Lokpal Bill.

This is not the first time a Lokpal Bill is proposed! It was initially proposed in 1968 but was never passed by the Rajya Sabha.

Forget all the stories behind, the stories are as important to me right now as much as what is being done to my old bicycle which is lying in my garage! INSIGNIFICANT!

I was in Kolkata a week back and was strolling by the road in the evening next to my hotel, just to see about about 50 people on the road with (as they are called) Gandhi Caps shouting slogans like 'Bhrastachari Saudhan, Jaag jaya hai naujawan' meaning Beware corrupt people, the Youth of India has awakened and 'Main bhi Anna, Tu bhi Aana, aaj toh saara desh hai Anna' saying today all of us are Anna - clearly showing that we are are fighting with Mr. Hazare.

What I see today is the Youth uniting for a cause. A cause which has been long fought for but finally gained momentum! This time this fight will not end easily purely because of the sheer volume of people fighting for it. We have seen enough terrorist attacks and fraudulent instances and they are all at the end of the day connected to corruption! We can't sit back and just say, we'll get back and move on.. This time, this is it!

Lets start this from the base, lets stop giving any bribes and make sure we point it out that anyone doing so, lets not take it lightly! Slowly I'm sure the systems will change and become more efficient over time as well.

This will lead India to a better and more fast growing country making it a better place to live. No need to pay donations to sanction your housing development, electricity or phone connections. No need to pay to get into colleges and above all, no need to pay to live happily!

I'm sure this is going on in every Indian's mind! So let's make this happen.. Let's unite and fight corruption to the core and come out victorious!

Regards,
Citizen of India